Guru Joe

HooDoo Sue
HooDoo Sue, channeling Guru Joe

Went out for an atitude adjustment ski today, and happened to slide by HooDoo Sue. She must’ve noticed I was in a funk, as I was excuding a black cloud of negative vibes spreading out along both sides of the trail. Now Sue claims she knew the teacher Gurdjieef back in the day, and has the irritating habit of  pontificating on his wisdom whenever anyone unlucky enough passes by, usually me.  She prefers to refer to him as ‘Guru Joe’, why, I don’t know. Today’s lesson in humilty is hereby quoted as best my memory serves:
” Joe used to say everything is eaten by everything else, so pick your predator: ‘Better to be eaten by an archangel than a devil.’ We become what eats us, just as the apple becomes a part of you when you eat it. ‘Do you want to become part of the Inner Sun, the Self, or a bug crawling around in some devil’s nether regions? Think about it’, he’d say.”

I thought I’d really rather not.

“Devils love to feast on the negativity that springs from our degraded animal nature”, she continued, her rock teeth chattering away, ” while an archangel loves the fruits of a pure heart. Keep your thoughts simple, disciplined, and clean, and your heart will be free and easy…, and see who shows up for dinner. Then you’ll understand what my pal Rumi meant when he said, ‘a new life begins, and the Friend has something good to eat.’ ”

Sue, if you only knew, how hard for us humans that all truly is….,  you block-headed, name-dropping stump you.

– Bob Fergeson


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