Tag Archives: innocence

The Sad Child of Maddening Dreams

The Sad Child of Maddening Dreams

Caineville Church

he ran

and hid awhile.

The Mad Child of Saddened Dreams

he fought

’til he went wild.

 

The Naive Child, moody dreams,

The trap to spring

is set.

The Serious Child, dangerous dreams,

The trap awaits

its guest.

 

Kodachrome Dream

Nostalgia lights

the path ahead,

as the way leads up and up,

From his burning bed

the child then flees

to Love’s deep comforting cup.

 

Mercy, Faith

reveal themselves

from beyond the blood-stained scene,

And Grace in Light

returns to the Child

Cathedral Valley

the Peace he had foreseen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three Causes of Adversity

What follows is a series of letters from Richard Rose to L. written in early 1990.
* * *

 
Hello L.,
Your letter of Dec. 18th has been sticking on top of my typewriter until now… in fact I was surprised at the date when I saw it.
I am glad to hear that your business is maintaining good momentum. I am always concerned about the stasis, or stagnation of business ventures by people in the group. Because it is the red light of trauma for the individual.
The cause of such trauma is difficult to assess or correct because it can be from a lack of attention by the individual… or it can be entirely from an opposite direction — it can be the take-over of some internal spiritual hunger or attending HGA coming with a shell-bursting Koan. And there is yet a third factor, or possible cause.
The third cause comes from entities… parasites (of a spiritual energy addiction) which throw blocks into any spiritual endeavor that might threaten their food supply.
What do we do about it? We must cover all three possibilities. If adversity is reflected in what seems to be our actual, physical survival, we must double our efforts and attention… and never give into blaming it on the times or on persecution.
If we think it might be a spiritual Koan we plug along with an eye to any possible gains from such a Koan.
If it is a negative attack, we must eliminate all action or habits that would feed the power of a physical attack that threatens the mental energy, so that we don’t surrender like a falling house of cards, all the while babbling to one’s self about the many possible diagnoses that might have caused the dead-end state of mind.
Just this morning I ran across a bookmark. I cannot remember the exact message… or its author… I thought it might have been placed in the mail by some well-meaning Christian sect. It said in effect — Do all things for the sake of a higher power, and it will correctly guide your every step.
Amazing! I thought. For this I have always believed since I was in my early twenties. The advice covers all three possibilities to problems of adversity.
There is a god within every man… that finds his contact with the chief Engineer of this scenario… the Absolute God that has everything planned or is able to at least enable us to see that everything is for the best. And the best includes eternal contentment at the cost of momentary inconvenience.

What follows is the follow-up letter from Rose to L., from the preceding letter, above. It defines some of the abbreviated terms used in the preceding letter and is not dated. It was handwritten by Rose and signed with an uppercase “R” with no period.
* * *

 
L.
Finally getting a chance to catch up on the mail. As you probably know I was hit by a car in December. Did not require hospitalization but it played hob with my vertebrae and the nerves.
In answer to your question of the front of this page HGA is a Holy Guardian Angel. The “HGA” is used by esotericists and some alchemists who feel it is like the word JHVH. HGA is a humanoid or angelic messenger. JHVH is the eternal Absolute or Essence.
KOAN is a Zen word for a puzzle or catalytic limerick that will bring about better insight.
________________________________
About moods. Nostalgic Moods are never seductive or acquisitive.
Hang in There
R
* * *

* * *
Hello L.
I received your letter last Saturday. We are like ships at sea. The man at the wheel has to be firmly in control of the ship or body.
I can see that you have been hit by a hurricane.
We are attacked if we momentarily are exposed to parasitical forces or divine forces. (either)
If your course is straight and selfless – all will [turn] out well.
Be careful about publicizing and great windfalls of opportunity. The bats in the belfry and rats in the cellar mount an attack – to provoke an action that will feed the entities, that want you to be poor and weak.
If you have been attacked by the divine forces, – all will be well.
May the light within guide your course.
Sincerely
R.  (Richard Rose)

 

 

Paradox and Prayer

” If you are willing to realize that you cannot create your own virtues or changes; if you are willing to feel the pain of emptiness, helplessness, and inadequacy; if you are willing to wait, knowing that of yourself you can do nothing – then you will be facing Reality correctly.” Roy Masters

 

For true spiritual progress, to get beyond the dualistic mind, we need to pray for the gift or grace of three things. The first is the ability to acknowledge our higher Self, to really and truthfully come to see this higher power. Second, to tell the higher power, from our heart, that we make an unconditional commitment to the truth. We will do whatever is necessary, including surrender of our will, schemes, and dreams, in favor of the higher wisdom. The paradoxical third part, and by far the most difficult, is that we then have to forget this. In practical application we have to forget it. Otherwise the ego, our little self, the petty tyrant, will take over, and surely mess things up. We must allow the higher power to call the shots.

Woods of Bagsvaerd
Woods of Bagsvaerd

Somehow, we must have faith in the higher power and it’s ability to set things up, to bring us the gift, the grace, of stopping our head. We have to be stopped in order to realize our ego is not infallible and doesn’t always have our best spiritual interest in mind. A paradox too, because this might have to happen before we’ll agree to any of this. We have to be stopped. This means we have to come to the point where we realize we’re helpless, and have limits. Very definite, little limits. That as we are, under the sway of the reflexive ego-mind, nothing will fundamentally ever change. And that everything is in the hands of the higher power. This is surrender.

This is paradoxical in that we have to be stopped, to realize our helplessness, before we’ll ask the higher power for help. And we will not make a commitment before we know of no other way, but yet we will do none of this, really, until we are stopped. This paradox cannot be understood by the willful mind that believes itself to be the highest form, but the heart knows it’s true, and somehow, paradoxically, we just have to do it. This is also self-inquiry.

Absolutely necessary in our ascent into paradox and grace, is the ability to pray. Pray to the higher power, that unknown but somehow felt wiser part of Us. If you have a sincere desire for relief from misery, to get away from yourself; learn to pray.  If you have an intense curiosity about the truth, but know that as you are, as ego, you will never be able to stop yourself, and if you stay the same, so your life will stay the same; learn to pray. If you realize your need for true discrimination, to tell the high from the low, to know when you are being fooled, and when and how you fool yourself; learn to pray.

We pray for the higher power to make itself known to us, to stop us, and show us what we need to do.

Serenity Prayer
Serenity Prayer

To help us. We may feel we have little, but we can have these three things, these three graces: to acknowledge and allow the higher power to help us, to make a commitment to its wisdom, and to allow it to change us, to somehow get out of our own way.  And we learn to pray, to ask our Self for help, no matter the consequence to our self.  This is true inquiry and surrender.

Bob Fergeson

 

The Eternal Child Within – The Puer

” The Child and the Presence are the same one Presence and It is right here where we are, transcending this world’s time and space.” – Willam Samuel

Samuel was a man who learned his lessons through fire and suffering, and later put them to the test in everyday life, and found them true. He speaks directly to the Heart of the listener in a forceful and simple manner, leading them to recognize that their own intuition is the surest path to the Inner Child.

Holocene by Bon Iver from Secretly Jag on Vimeo.

“The Child of Light and Love is the pathfinder, the guide, the wayshower up the mighty mountain in Kwangse Province. Science, religion and philosophy can take us a great distance, but the Child takes us to Dominion. It is absolutely essential that we actually get in touch with the eternal Child.” – William Samuel


For more on Samuel’s work, visit http://www.mysticmissal.org/william_samuel.htm

For ordering his books and tapes, visit http://www.williamsamuel.com/

 

Love, and Reason

Once we’ve had profound realizations on love and intuition, we have to watch for the ego taking these over and saying, “look how special I am, I can now do whatever I want”. You’re not special. This feeling just leads you into another trap that can be seen in the following two different ways: One, is we can think we’re special, and can do whatever we want without consequences. We treat other people however we feel with impunity, because we’re special, “I’m me” and me knows all about love.

Heart of Little Wild Horse
Heart of Little Wild Horse

The other one is, we think we are special and know about love, so we have to save everybody. The ego now has to fix, correct, and save everyone we meet. We forget about taking care of ourselves because we’re too busy rushing around doing everything to everyone, for ‘love’.

These two reactions basically come about from a lack of reason, brought on by base infatuation with ourselves. We have to allow reason to come into our decision-making process to double-check what the emotions, and our ego’s love, are up to. We don’t have to have reason as the final arbiter, the final decision-maker, but we should allow it into the process. It’s very easy to get tricked if we lose our heads, but not our egos, and start running around in love, thinking we’re infallible.

A Pattern of Becoming

Over the Shoulder Man-web
Reactive Man

If we buy into the anger, criticism, or praise of others by believing in it, and by believing that their take on events is realer than our actual perception, the innocent perception, if we buy into their criticism by reacting to it defensively, or their praise by getting puffed up, this means that we agree with it, and are fast becoming it.  If this agreement causes an emotional reaction inside, this sets up dissonance and the inner conflict.  We come to not trust our own take on what we see, and believe instead in the critical or flattering take from outside. We develop our own defensive reaction pattern to this outer offensive pattern.  This reaction pattern to the criticism/praise creates a false self in us in order to match the false world that we’ve agreed to through our belief in it.  This sets up a reactive little universe of drama in which we are trapped. We say “I” to this false self for so long we come to automatically believe it to be us.

When we get into situations that cause this to be acted out, such as work, social situations, and around certain types who are overly critical or fawning, we defend ourself against this criticism/flattery and start criticizing, flattering, patterning our “I” to be just as they are. We lose track of our innate innocence, most of our reason, and the connection within. We’ve been drawn outward into a false emotionally reactive universe of defensiveness: a fake self.  This entire thing has to be dropped, it can’t be improved, it’s a desperate down hill ride through a dark swamp with a messy ending. A clean break, a return to our own direct perception of the world, the acceptance of own capacity to be aware, is the way out. This drama and its pattern forming can never be solved at its own level.

If we make a mistake, can’t do something the way other people insist we should, or find we are planning ways to garner praise, reacting emotionally by believing in the drama, the way out is to stay connected to our own innocent perception of what’s actually taking place, a pure non-judgmental awareness that is not formed from experience, but is aware of and contains our experience. Our reaction pattern, which is a reaction to other reaction patterns, and all entirely in the imaginations of those involved, can by definition only progress along set lines, there is no lasting relief.  Some people are almost completely this false self, walking bodies, trouble. Is that all you wish to become?

Brain Fog – States of Mind

In this modern technological age, we can see there is a noticeable disconnect between the online social networking world, and the factual world of our real actions. This  can be seen too in the gap between the computer program generated weather reports and the actual weather.  These examples help to show how the reactive ideas we  automatically believe about physical events can and do become real in and of themselves. We take the computer or brain model for being the actual reality.  The weather reports are no longer directly about the weather, they’re about the computer program.  You can see this in all walks of life.  Businessmen take their business beliefs as their model and can become disconnected from what’s actually going on in the day to day world of the real business.  We develop a brain fog,  a sticky mass made up of visualizations and patterns in our head that are formed from reactive experience, coupled with wishful thinking, along with a good dose of desire and fear. They’re mixed thoroughly to create and projcet a pattern we take to be reality.  We then project or force this onto the environment and further reinforce the pattern. It has no direct link to reality but is actually a mixed up mess of associations, often disconnected from what we would see if we could see clearly.

The innocence of the child can clear up this brain fog by enabling us to look around with a different seeing, one that doesn’t rely solely on the computer model, but which relies on what we’re actually witnessing in our  day-to-day experience without a forced projection.  The computer models become the reality and the weather man forgets to look out the window to check the forecast.  He may even refuse to refine the program in order to bring it more in line with the real weather, as that could affect his pride, his boss, or the bureaucracy, and put a damper on his career.  This creates a separate force, holding us in a fairyland of belief, rather than basing what we’re doing on what we actually see.  The clearing of the fog is by the sunshine that comes from the child, from the innocence.

Foggy Morning
Foggy Morning

States of mind can be the central revolving factor in our life. Our individual state of mind causes all our beliefs and our actions to spring forth, and we never question it.  Instead of questioning our state of mind and trying to see what’s really going on, we try and force the belief system of our current state of mind onto the world, by attempting to change the world to fit the state of mind.  All of our problems and their solutions spring from the state of mind, as well.  This can be seen very easily in others, when you see that their state of mind is really not their own, but comes from someone else, it’s inherited. They can’t see this.  They think it is their own unique individual thinking.  It revolves around getting rid of the tensions we allow to be placed on us through these same states of mind.  We dump on other people or the world to get these tensions off our back, which is only a temporary solution.  The real solution would be to question the state of mind, and see where the tensions are really coming from.